Looking forward to the new year!

h, you know how I like the new year! Like a blank notebook just a-waitin' to be written in, I love seeing the new year approach, with all the possibilities and unknowns.

"For last year's words belong to last year's language. And next year's words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning."   -T.S. Eliot

In finally having a few minutes to browse around the interwebs post-Christmas, everyone has resolutions and reflections on the brain. Knotty Yarn has posted her Uberlist for 2011, as well as a list of things she WON'T do in 2011. I especially like the way she has things broken out into various sections, though it's a bit too micro-level for me, this year. I'm working on the "one word" or "one phrase" concept as blogged about so inspirationally by Gretchen at The Happiness Project in early December. I saw a lot of bloggers talk about that concept last year and while I didn't commit and publish a word or theme, it definitely stayed with me throughout the year as I mulled over what word seemed to be rising to the surface for me in 2010. Reverb 10 also works with the one-word idea, and throughout the month of December they have posted a one-word prompt each day to get readers reflecting on 2010 and setting goals for 2011.

So, still working on the one-word... but in the meantime, maybe a little reflection will help me with that word/theme/phrase? Jen posted earlier this week about review and reflection, using an idea from Dumb Little Man. I thought it sounded like a great idea to latch on to! (And as you'll see, somewhere while writing this, the word became clear. Read on...)

1. On a scale of 1-10, how satisfied are you with 2010?
I have wavered between an 8 and a 9, in looking back over the year. So maybe 8.5? I hate putting a number to it, but maybe that's something for me to work on in the coming year? (Or not.)

2. Why did you score that way?
It was a very challenging year in some ways (business comes to mind immediately, probably does for most everyone this year, I imagine; also, having dear ones facing big hurdles in their lives). But it was also a very fulfilling year in the critical areas of life. My relationships with my two men are flourishing and happy. Health and overall wellness are good for the nearest and dearest, and there's no lack of love or blessings in our lives. I have felt the benefit of prayer and spiritual support in exponential ways this year, and that's probably made the biggest difference in my life.

Taking points off a "perfect 10," I have felt personally less accomplished this year, mostly because of a lack of focus in myself...

3. What are your biggest accomplishments this year?
Yeah, not feeling any real gold stars this year. As I mentioned above, I really need to get some focus. (Take a few of the options off the table. Make lists. Get things done and move on.) But in looking back, I would say that keeping my equilibrium at times of stress has been a bit of an accomplishment. I'm proud that I was able to find ways to look past anger and frustration and really get to the heart of what matters and keep on keeping on.

4. What are the biggest lessons you learned this year?
My biggest lesson, which I will probably learn and relearn again and again in my life is to trust God with all of life. Not just the big stuff, not just the little stuff. All of it. Admit I'm hopeless at "controlling" any of it, and just do my level human best and let the rest fall at His feet. I can't tell you the comfort that has brought me at times. At other times (3 a.m., generally), I am most horrible at remembering that, and I stir and twitch and can really get worked up into a lather.

"There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year’s course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word ‘happy’ would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness."   -Carl Jung

My other top lesson (another one that needs to get stuck on repeat), is to pause. That was the word/theme that struck me throughout the year as MY 2010 word. Pause. Take a beat. Think before I speak. Pause. Reflect, don't react. Pause.

5. What are your biggest goals that you want to achieve next year?
Focus. I think that's my 2011 word. Focus. Narrow it down. Find my center. Focus.

"I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed,but I am bound to live up to what light I have."   -Abraham Lincoln

6. What new habits do you want to cultivate?
A little discipline will go a long ways toward achieving some focus. I need to set a schedule to my day, whether I'm working or not working or volunteering or what have you. Set the schedule, live with the routines, let the structure guide me a bit more. I love routines, and getting things done, and I know that a couple of months of concerted effort will really have me feeling a bit more in line.

I also need to say no a little more consistently to the many requests on my time and energies. Not just to say "no," but to create the kind of home life that the three of us want to live together. To be less fragmented and scattered. Focus. See, it's the word. I can feel it.

"As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives."   -Henry David Thoreau

7. What are your immediate next steps to achieve them?
I know me and I know what works. It's largely a matter of returning to some of the basics that have done me well in the past. Lists will play a big role in that. Daily, weekly and monthly lists. Can't wait to dive in.

"Human Felicity is produced not so much by great Pieces of good Fortune that seldom happen, as by little Advantages that occur every Day."   -Benjamin Franklin
 

I will keep you posted on the focus. Definitely!