And now let us welcome a new year

Well, that blog break lasted a bit longer than I meant for it to.

As I'm sure you could tell there toward the start of the "break," I got a bit worn down by my own repetitiveness on the weekly gratitude lists, and work and life and life and work continued to march on in such a way as to nip at my creative heels, undermining my extracurricular writing, reading, reflecting, etc. And I let it, so that's on me. But each time I thought about getting back into writing more regularly, I would hear my internal voice say "meh" and  kept on the path of least resistance.

There were real and true plans to pick it back up at my birthday, paying subtle homage to the fact that the blog began back at my birthday six years ago. But Oct. 29 came and went, and here we are, post-holidays and on the cusp of a new year. Perfect time to get off my butt and back to writing, right?

I have mullings about this past year, and plans for the coming year, and these few days of really precious quiet time with the guys have been so helpful. My brain feels reset to a more balanced place. So, for the moment, I'll take it and move forward with optimism that I can structure my life to accommodate the other, important areas of my life that require a little time and energy to caretake.

So where am I at with the One Little Word idea? Oh, it's still a thing. There were a few early word choices vying for my attention, all reflective of my desire to focus on what's most important and not just what's urgent. For a moment or two, the word "filter" was at the top of my mind, but that's a completely utilitarian word, zippo on the romance factor. Filter led the way to "mindful," but hasn't that word been worked and reworked the past decade? That alone doesn't make it a bad word, but it wasn't quite what I was going for. And then I arrived at Presence, and stayed.

Presence is something that I have always needed more of in my life, even before smartphones and constant media inputs fragmented our brains. OK, my brain. But it's true. Listening, processing one thing at a time, not multitasking the heck out of every situation to try and get more done, slowing down just a touch and reminding myself of what's really necessary... for me, all of this fits under the umbrella of Presence.

Wish me luck, both on the Presence and the blogging. Time will tell on both of them, of course. But I see that they are rather related, too. A bit of Presence (I swear I won't cap it forever, just for this one post. Really.) will go a long way toward giving me the mental space I know I need to to even allow inspiration in.

I found the above image via Pinterest, and love the whole list--but was of course very interested in "Give the Present of Presence." :)

In case you need a recap, I couldn't help but review my blog posts about resolutions over the years:

2009 resolutions and my report on how I did.

Starting to simplify the goals process in 2010

2011: the first year I really picked a word (Focus).

2012: Grace, with the recap/follow up post)1

2013: Light

2014: Pray

Which brings us to 2015: Presence.

One site that is consistently my go-to for all things thoughtful is On Being. There are two specific posts that I've seen/listened to/read in this week of peacefulness that have relevance to 2014 (Pray) and 2015 (Presence):

Thomas Merton's Prayer That Anyone Can Pray.

"My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always, though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone."

Gordon Hempton's The Last Quiet Places: Silence and the Presence of Everything

There are many audio opportunities with this post, and I so enjoyed taking in his recordings of the natural world. If you can't find me, I might be out in a field, listening to the silence.

I hope that 2014 was a good year for you. And if it wasn't a good year, I am glad for you that it's over. I know a great many people who had life challenges this year, from health troubles and careers failing through to marriage and relationship issues. The beauty of a new year is the old refrain about turning the chapter to a new page and starting over; even if it was a good year, that's an idea that resonates with me.

Friday night grateful moment

I'm still rather undecided what to do with this space on Friday nights, whether to continue as is or adjust or stop altogether. Sometimes a reboot is the best way to get at the best new view on things, but nothing has miraculously revealed itself to me as The Next Big Thing for Gratitude, so here I am.

For tonight, I offer this:

The whole time we were gone, it was foggy and cold in Walla Walla, but today the skies opened up and look at the color that greeted us in our driveway! I was so happy to see sunshine and endless blue as we came up out of the Gorge and went into the stretch across the barren flatlands between the river and home. 

Ah, home. Grateful for that too. Love our cozy space, and the fact that the tree is still up (though I'm not thrilled at the prospect of undoing Christmas... that will have to wait a few days) and the Christmas presents are ready for actual use! When you leave the day after the holiday, it's like Christmas all over again upon return.

I'm grateful for the time we had away. It was difficult to truly unwind from the year-end stuff at work and holiday festivities, but by the end of the week I think we were both there... one more week would have really sealed the deal! I need to do better at just walking away; it will be there when we get back (just like Christmas presents!)... something to work on in the coming year.

Wherever you are, I hope your grateful list is long and your heart is full of possibility in the new year!

Peace.

Small stone: Jan. 1

Reminding myself,
Blank pages of the year ahead:
It doesn’t all have to happen tomorrow.
Or even the day after that.
Pace yourself, dear one.

#smallstones

One Little Word for 2014: Pray

When this word first crossed through my mind, I thought, oh, I can't pick *that* word. That will be making far too big a deal of my faith; I mean, I'll actually have to write about it, on the blog. (Because you, know, God forbid I actually pick a word for the year and NOT blog about it!). But of course, once I had that actual conscious thought, I knew it WAS the word, whether I acknowledged it or not. And I've lived long enough on this planet to know that nothing good comes from stuffing it down and not living what and who you are. So that's my word for this coming year: Pray.

Prayer is such a fraught thing. When someone tells you they're praying for you, it can hold a myriad of agendas and baggage. I've been there and felt that. It can also be the biggest gift possible. When someone loves you (and loves you in a healthy, open and unconditional way) and says they're praying for you, it takes the weight of the world off your shoulders. I've been there too, and felt such weight being lifted; it's amazing.

A few weeks after mulling over the word, I was at Grandma's and leafing through some of her journals and lists and such. She has been such a keeper of information over the years. Aside from the logging of what she gave and got for Christmas or birthdays, and the binders full of ancestry information, she has jotted little thoughts and notes about her daily doings. They can be rather amusing to read now, out of context; I'll point to one or another and ask her if she remembers what this or that note was about, and if she does we talk about it for a bit. It can lead to some pretty interesting conversations.

On this visit, I happened upon this poem by Helen Steiner Rice, a Grandma favorite. And while Rice might not have written my personal must-have books of poetry, I have a sentimental heart for her writing and what it's meant to Grandma. In my very "me" way, I saw this poem as a sign of validation for my word (of course!), and had to snap a picture of it. Grandma is quite used to me taking out my phone and pointing-and-clicking it at various things in her apartment, and she usually gives a funny shrug and a smile.

You can tell by the picture that my grandmother had great penmanship, in her day. I would date this writing at maybe five years ago, given that there's some shake, but not nearly what she has now. It's unmistakably her handwriting, and there's preciousness to that for me as well.

For all my condescending little smiles about Rice's poems over the years (much fewer as I've gotten older and wiser) (and kinder, too), these words cut right to exactly why Pray is my word this year:

A New Year Prayer
You are ushering in another year
Untouched and freshly new,
So here I am to ask you God,
If you'll renew me too.
But, Father, I am well aware
I can't make it on my own,
So take my hand and hold it tight,
For I can't walk alone.

I've had years where prayer was a regular occurrence, and years when that has not been the case. The years themselves haven't been dramatically impacted by my prayer, or the lack thereof--I would never try to make a case for "and then I prayed and it all got better!" Sometimes it seems almost unmagically the opposite; real challenges arise when you lay yourself bare and see revealed your damn humanity and all the ugliness that implies. (Or maybe that's just me?)

The years themselves, and the events that have unfolded within them, have run the usual gamut of good, bad and indifferent. I would venture, though, that the difference has been subtle but palpable, between the times I've been in close communication with God and not--to me. Well, mostly to me. If you know me very well, you might be able to tell. (Maybe.)

That's where the C.S Lewis quote comes in: I pray to be that quote, to have that kind of need, and be changed by praying.

In a way, I feel like Pray could (should?) be my word, every year. But I also still feel that way about Pause (2010), Focus (2011), Grace (2012) and Light (this year). I love the way these words stay with me, and layer on top of each other. I've even said, laughing, that I must be a little slow, because I feel like I just get the word into my consciousness, and then wham, it's a new year with a new word. I need an overlap year, where I can hold onto the word from the past and move forward into the new word... it's all rather beautiful and complicated in my own mind... I'm sure you get it, too?

But the thing that makes me so happy about this word, and why I could see holding on to it for awhile, is that this word makes a lot of other words (and things) fall into place. At least, that's how I imagine it *could* go... If I put the proper attention to living this word, I have optimism that other priorities will align. Of course, now that I've said it out loud, the "other shoe dropping" part of my nature is poised, waiting for something to mess it up and distract me, obfuscate my vision from that which I know is important. You know, my usual ADHD. Awesome.

Here we go, off into another year! Wish me luck. Or, better yet, pray for me. ;)

One Word 2013: Light

hink about it: 2013. What good comes of something, anything, even a new millenium, becoming a teenager? While my personal experience as a parent has not been such that the teen years are horrific or earth-ending, by any means, there's a reason why teenagers have the reputation they do. Boundary stretching, arrogant, annoying, impatient with everyone older than 20... If we think the past few years have been challenging, what is ahead in this coming year? Hmmm. Between you and me, I am not holding my breath for 20-THIRTEEN to be anything other than a hormonal temper tantrum of a year.

That being said, I *also* think it could quite possibly be a great year (yes, I can have it both ways). Mostly because, dammit, it needs to be. It HAS to be. And, frankly, we can either let the teenager rule, or we can show it who is boss. Am I right or am I right?

On the heels (and pardon the whiplash after that slightly gloomy intro) of my Grace recap yesterday, I offer you my One Word for 2013: Light.

Light (as a child of God):
"For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light." Ephesians 5:8

Light (as a wife and mother):
"There are two ways of spreading light…To be the candle, or the mirror that reflects it."
-Edith Wharton

Light (as a friend, colleague, fellow traveler):
"Be a lamp, or a lifeboat, or a ladder. Help someone's soul heal. Walk out of your house like a shepherd."
-Rumi

Light (as a woman):
"People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within."
-Elizabeth Kübler-Ross

Light (as a citizen of the world):

He who would travel happily must travel light.
-Antoine de Saint-Exupery

So, what does another word for another year really mean? Well, for one, it gives me a handy jumping off place for goals. It's when I am able to align so many of my current thoughts and inner workings with One Word that I know I've arrived at a word that will work for me (theoretically) in the coming year. I usually turn over any number of words for a month or two in my brain before landing on one that really resonates.

The past couple of months I've been mulling over 2013 and where I'd like to go:

*Lighten up (see what I'm able to do with one little word?) means working toward a few fitness targets.

*Being light also means getting organized, paring down, cleaning out those sock and makeup drawers that I've been meaning to get to, for years. When I read the Saint-Exupery quote above, I think about having less of a footprint on the earth, consuming less...

*Lighten up also translates into taking myself less seriously. Seriously.

*Being a light (lamp) to others, at home and away: I think about my abilities to listen, to empathize, to show compassion, and my need and desire to grow in those areas.

*I'd like to work on my devotional time (focusing on my Creator as The Light), finding ways to make prayer and scriptural meditation meaningful and consistent as my life requires additional balance.

*To shine light on a topic is to gain wisdom; there are a number of areas, professionally, where I want to learn and grow.

And I know the list will expand and morph over the year. I'm very much looking forward to seeing where it grows to.

Always, there are a few online resources to help in the journey:
One Little Word: I just signed up for this year-long class. I think it will keep me more on track in a gentle way (not like some online classes that are all-in for weeks at a time). (Come join me! That would be awesome!)

My One Word

One Word 365

Here we are, on the brink of another year; a year destined to be filled with joy and sadness, challenges and opportunities, the full range that every 365-day cycle provides. But rather than wishing for a good year, or even a great year, I wish for you the strength to meet whatever your year brings--and I wish the same for myself. If it is good fortune, so much the better. If it is less than that, may you (and I) be surrounded by love and comfort and courage. And light.

‎"I wish I could show you, when you are lonely or in darkness, the astonishing light of your own being." 
-Hafiz of Shiraz

One Word 2012 recap: Grace

race has been my One Little Word for 2012, the word I chose to focus on, to bring more of into my life. And like any highlighted characteristic, it seems, the simple act of choosing GRACE flipped a switch to spotlight my need. Upon deciding on the word, I almost immediately felt utterly challenged--both in the giving and receiving of Grace. I had to take a few deep breaths and remind myself that, cliche as it might sound, this wasn't about a specific destination, but about the road to be traveled along the way.

Here, at the tail end of 2012, I am quite glad I chose Grace. Articulating the word, and keeping it present in my mind and heart throughout the year, was very worth the effort. Was I human? Sure. Did I act graceless at times? Oh yes. But did I come to better understand grace in my own life and work to share that outwardly in my relationships with others? Yes, I did.

Like Focus (2011), and Pause (2010) before it, I know that Grace will stay with me, long after 2012 is gone. Each word remains a part of me--reminding me, keeping me company, guiding the way--with a kind of cumulative effect. By the time I'm an old woman, all kinds of words will have visited my years, even circling back around for a retool from time to time, maybe. It's a welcome image.

I mentioned the Grace journey only a few times this year:
*In a Mid-Week Reminder about the magnitude of being present to what our life offers.
*Another Mid-Week Reminder about grace in the turnaround.
*And in a Friday Night Grateful Moment, when I mention a Bible verse that highlights grace: Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. 1 Peter 4:10

Could I stay with Grace for another year? Quite definitely. But I'm moving on, adding Grace to the word pile and picking another to focus on and build goals toward. I'm really quite excited about 2013, in many ways. Can't wait to share...

Word for 2012: Grace

-Zora Neale Hurston

This quote has been sitting with me for awhile, and I keep turning over the possibilities in my brain, looking back at past years and thinking, "Was XXXX a year of questions, or answers?" It could quite possibly be that, for me, all years seem to be question years. Though, on reflection, that's not really true. More likely, each year, unless something very significant has taken place (2003 comes to mind, as does 2005, in a much better way) there is a mixture of both questions and answers.

I approach this year with the same anticipation as I usually do: clean pages, blank slates, new beginnings, wondering what the year will bring--questions and answers! But before I can really attack the next 365 days, I wanted to take a little look back in how I've blogged about the new year and resolutions in the past. (Lo, these long three years the blog's been around, ha!)

2009's resolutions were all about the food. Silly me, still thought I was a food blogger at that point. Ha. I have since reconciled myself to being a blogger who talks about food, but NOT a food blogger. How many posts have you seen from me that actually give steps? With pictures? That's what a food blogger does. I'm lucky to remember to take a picture (and/or write down any deviations I inevitably make!) before the food disappears off the plate. My initial goal of making this a place where I can record recipes for myself and others; that, I appear to have been able to do with some consistency.

But in the interest of accountability, I did keep quite a few of those resolutions. I have continued to blog about food (some weeks/months are better than others), and we've worked on getting some (but not all) processed foods eliminated from our household diets. Our family garden has been better and better every year, weather permitting (tomatoes were just bad this past summer, so late). I still want to get Seth's repertoire increased in the kitchen; that's definitely on the list again this year. And I have been doing really well at paring down my cookbook collection; in fact, I just tossed (well, bequeathed to a book sale) a few this weekend, and have plans for a few more. (Speak up if you'd like one... or two... or three.)

Kicking off 2010, I kept it simple--maybe a little TOO simple, since I said I was going to make 6 resolutions and then only wrote 5. I made progress with them all, but they are the kind of resolutions you make for life. At least, in *my* life, they are works in progress... being a better wife and mother? Yeah, not really something I want to relegate to 2010... same goes for body, brains, soul and household.

Somewhere in the middle of 2010, I decided to hop on the "one word" bandwagon and decided my word for the year was pause. It's still a word I think about frequently, as I'm rushing about. Just slow it on down, Sher. Take a beat. A breath. It--whatever it is--will be there tomorrow. Chill.

Last year's post was one of my favorites, answering questions about the year and then plotting a course forward from those questions. Again, I went with the one-word idea, and my word for 2011 was *supposed* to be focus. Ha. Double ha. No such luck last year. Not even close. Still as fragmented and scattered as ever most days, letting the flexibility of my schedule toss me around like a tissue in the wind. I'm thinking, in hindsight, that focus is truly a good word for me. But 2011 was not the year for that word and I to meet up, that's all... maybe somewhere down the road?

So, all that is to say, what's the plan for 2012? Well, I do have goals and such that I want to accomplish, but in an effort to really pare it down and go for the big win, I'm going to work on my word for 2012, and hope that the trickle-down effect of focusing on one thing big-time will permeate everything else.

And since I put my word for 2012 in my post title, there's not a lot of guessing:

No, I am not planning on becoming a ballerina. Or walking with books on my head to achieve some state of gracefulness--that would be a lost cause, I fear.

I landed on this word by way of a few others that didn't sit completely right--forgiveness, letting go, releasing... I couldn't arrive at exactly the right feel, until I hit on grace... accepting grace from God, and extending that grace to others and to myself. One of the more pivotal sermons I listened to this year from Timothy Keller was on the concept of forgiveness and grace, and he makes the bold assertion that until we have truly accepted grace from God, we will not be able to extend it elsewhere. And if we find that we cannot extend grace and forgiveness to others, it's because we have not accepted forgiveness and grace from God. Kinda stopped me in my tracks (I was running at the time, speaking of another resolution...). And it's been on my mind ever since.

I have always thought of myself as a forgiving person. Someone who doesn't harbor ill will or hold grudges. But I have found myself tested and retested this past decade, and have found myself wanting, sometimes seriously wanting, in the areas of grace and forgiveness, both for myself and toward others. I have struggled with moving forward in the face of continued pettiness, and what it means to still hold others accountable for their part while acting gracefully.

So, this year I am going to give it up to grace. And I'm hoping for a better outcome than I had with focus! I am going to look for books and sermons and inspiration that help me find ways to put grace-full living into a day-to-day walk.

I read a great post over at A Design So Vast that prompted my thinking in this area. She wrote about looking back over 2010 and what song, quote or poem would capture the year? In thinking about 2011, I arrived at:

We are not at peace with others because we are not at peace with ourselves, and we are not at peace with ourselves because we are not at peace with God. -Thomas Merton

From peace to grace wasn't a hard leap for me, and in fact, I rewrote the quote above, using grace: We do not extend grace to others because we do not give grace to ourselves, and we do not give grace to ourselves because we have not accepted grace from God. Those words sum up how I want to move into 2012, where I want my compass pointed and how I want to live.

Other than that, I'm looking to get back to running, figure out yeasted breads once and for all, read more books that I already own (I've got a blog post already started for that one) and cook healthfully for my guys. Seems doable.

Wish me luck.

Any resolutions to share? Picked a word for the new year? I'd love to hear!

Midweek disbelief: June 1? June 1? June 1?

an you tell I really have a hard time believing the calendar has turned over to June 1? Seems highly improbable. Not just from the cool temps still hanging out, but from the speed with which this first half of 2011 has gone by. Wasn't it just January? February? March... you get my drift.

Crazy, the swift passage of time. But, rather than dwell on how little I've done to really hone in on my "word for 2011" (focus) and ponder that the word for 2010 (pause) is probably one that I should apply to the next three or four decades of my life, I'm going to get my butt in gear and get a few things done. Nothing makes me feel like I've gotten something accomplished like getting something accomplished. Funny how that works.

In a lovely happenstance, I ran across this list of 60 Small Ways to Improve Your Life in the Next 100 Days. It's got gobs of good ideas running the gamut from decluttering (my office!) to personal development and time management, and of course finance. I've printed it out and will review it each morning, see what I can get done in the next 100 days. (So handy that this coincides with Seth's summer vacation, don't you think? Poor boy. Don't tell him that Mom has PLANS!)

Here are a few snippets that especially stand out to me (do click over for the full list, it's got more goodies):
* Walk around your home and identify 100 things you’ve been tolerating; fix one each day. (Definitely doable!)
* For the next 100 days, keep Morning Pages, which is a tool suggested by Julia Cameron. Morning Pages are simply three pages of longhand, stream of consciousness writing, done first thing in the morning. (I love this idea and have a hard time making myself sit down to it...)
* Don’t buy anything that you don’t absolutely need for 100 days.
* Track how you spend your time for 5 days. Use the information that you gather in order to create a time budget: the percentage of your time that you want to devote to each activity that you engage in on a regular basis. (A good idea, but I'm a little frightened of the Pinterest time... not sure I want to know!)
* For the next 100 days, stop multi-tasking; do one thing at a time without distractions. (I'm not sure I can do this...)
* Make a list of all of the commitments and social obligations that you have in the next 100 days. Then, take out a red pen and cross out anything that does not truly bring you joy or help move you along the path to achieving your main life goals.
* Choose one food that constantly sabotages your efforts to eat healthier—whether it’s the decadent cheesecake from the bakery around the corner, deep-dish pizza, or your favorite potato chips—and go cold turkey for the next 100 days.
* For the next 100 days, get at least twenty minutes of daily exercise.
* Identify three actions that you’re going to take each day, for the next 100 days, in order to strengthen your relationship. (Nice!)
* For the next 100 days do one kind deed for someone every day, however small, even if it’s just sending a silent blessing their way. (Love this!)

And here's one that just made me laugh:
* Set your alarm a minute earlier every day for the next 100 days. Then make sure that you get out of bed as soon as your alarm rings, open the windows to let in some sunlight, and do some light stretching. In 100 days you’ll be waking up an hour and forty minutes earlier than you’re waking up now. (Given that I get up between 5:30 and 6 a.m. most mornings, that seems a little like overkill to me. I DID get a lot done this morning, but still... girl needs her sleep!)

This list is exactly what I need coming off a lovely and kicked-back Memorial Day weekend and heading into summer. Whether summer's actually going to arrive or not remains to be seen!

Anything on that list you've been wanting to work on? Hope you find an idea or two to perk up your June!

You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave,
find your eternity in each moment. Fools stand on their island opportunities and look toward another land.
There is no other land, there is no other life but this.

-Henry David Thoreau

Thursday 13: New year, fresh starts

ix days in, I am almost done talking about the new year... and resolutions... and one-word themes for the year (I'm pondering changing mine already, how wishy-washy is that?) and all that January nonsense. Almost.

Before calling it good, and moving on to actually accomplishing stuff (oh yeah, that!), here are a few more thoughts to set the tone for the year.

First up, I must mention a post I read earlier this week and posted on Facebook. It's a good one. Completely chuckle-worthy.

And, more seriously, here are a few other interesting and inspiration posts relative to the new year and all the aforementioned themes and words and resolutions:
* Happy New Year from Positive Thoughts
* Thematic Declaration from Curly Girl
* A combo birthday-new year post over at Fit to be Seen
And a brief but effective Happy New Year! post by Chel over at GingerBlue.

Lastly, from Yes and Yes, I found a post about 13 tasks to take on in the new year. I agree with almost all of them... 13 good things to consider in the new year.

1. Get rid of the clothes you don't love and don't wear.
This is so true for me. I wear the same things (mostly) over and over. And yet the closet overflows. Time for a reassessment. This fits nicely in with my plans to pare down and get organized! My mother always said something about "if you haven't worn it in a year, it should go," but I might need to extend that to two... see, this is how I got in trouble in the first place.

2. Clean out your car.
Right now my car is pretty clean. But this is one I should review quarterly, since these things can creep up on one... maybe I'll add that to my to-do list so I don't get so far out of whack again. A clean car is a happy car, right?

3. Organize your email/photos/online profiles.
This is not currently out of control for me. Everything has it's place on my computer and is fairly findable. Now if I were going to pursue photography like I sometimes claim I want to... For me, it's more appropriate to say "Organize your craft/art/sewing/desk stuff." Now THAT'S an item I can get behind, and definitely need to.

4. Change up your fitness routine.
And how. Time to get the five fingers out for a trot again. Definitely. The treadmill is minutes away from being usable again (post-flood). I am looking forward to getting moving again, and the idea of spring is especially invigorating, already. I look out at the cold cold yard and thing, will things really green up again? Is it possible? Hardly seems so.

5. Reevaluate the relationships in your life.
This sounds a little complicated... but I get her drift. Surround yourself with the energy that is going to help you accomplish what you need to, and don't spend time around the energy that isn't. I feel most fortunate to have pretty stellar energy around me most days.

6. Clean out your cupboards and fridge.
Yes and yes. On the list. I might participate in the "Eat Down the Fridge" project again this year, and I definitely need to clean out the freezer too...

7. Update your resume.
Sure... never know when that might be a necessary thing... mine is pretty current, as I had to put it together a couple of years ago for a nonprofit board I joined, so they'd know what kind of riff-raff they let in...

8. Clean out your bathroom cabinet.
This one should go higher on my list. It's a little like my closet, in my bathroom drawers. For some reason, I have a hard time parting ways with the little samples and lotions and such. I might just use them... some day...

10. Change out your ringtone/alarm/screen saver.
Why? Just because, apparently. Not sure I need that, but maybe the screen saver... I have had the same image for a very long time:

I've already changed it! Now it's this image (you didn't see that one coming, did you?!):

11. Try a new scent.
Nope. Sticking with Daisy by Marc Jacobs. Love. It.

12. Switch up your surroundings.
How did she know? What with the forced house re-do from the autumn water leak, there are lots of options for switching up around here. We added some seating in the kitchen area and aren't going to bring back in the table and chairs. Wow, it feels different and I love it!

13. Make a list of new things you want to try.
Right now my focus is less on new things I want to try, and more on existing things that need a new look or a better, more refined approach. That applies to all kinds of areas of interest, from cooking and nutrition to crafts and sewing and writing and photography and the plethora of other hobbies I fritter away my time on...

OK, I'm done talking about new year's resolutions. Maybe. I might be back to talk about my one-word thing... "focus" is sounding too... focused? Ha. I'm thinking "mindful" is a little more what I'm going for. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to actually focus and get stuff done, cuz I am. Really. Right after I go treat every jelly bean like it's my last. (Read the resolutions I linked to above. Really. Your life will be better because of it.)

Blessings in 2011!

For more Thursday 13s, go here.

Looking forward to the new year!

h, you know how I like the new year! Like a blank notebook just a-waitin' to be written in, I love seeing the new year approach, with all the possibilities and unknowns.

"For last year's words belong to last year's language. And next year's words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning."   -T.S. Eliot

In finally having a few minutes to browse around the interwebs post-Christmas, everyone has resolutions and reflections on the brain. Knotty Yarn has posted her Uberlist for 2011, as well as a list of things she WON'T do in 2011. I especially like the way she has things broken out into various sections, though it's a bit too micro-level for me, this year. I'm working on the "one word" or "one phrase" concept as blogged about so inspirationally by Gretchen at The Happiness Project in early December. I saw a lot of bloggers talk about that concept last year and while I didn't commit and publish a word or theme, it definitely stayed with me throughout the year as I mulled over what word seemed to be rising to the surface for me in 2010. Reverb 10 also works with the one-word idea, and throughout the month of December they have posted a one-word prompt each day to get readers reflecting on 2010 and setting goals for 2011.

So, still working on the one-word... but in the meantime, maybe a little reflection will help me with that word/theme/phrase? Jen posted earlier this week about review and reflection, using an idea from Dumb Little Man. I thought it sounded like a great idea to latch on to! (And as you'll see, somewhere while writing this, the word became clear. Read on...)

1. On a scale of 1-10, how satisfied are you with 2010?
I have wavered between an 8 and a 9, in looking back over the year. So maybe 8.5? I hate putting a number to it, but maybe that's something for me to work on in the coming year? (Or not.)

2. Why did you score that way?
It was a very challenging year in some ways (business comes to mind immediately, probably does for most everyone this year, I imagine; also, having dear ones facing big hurdles in their lives). But it was also a very fulfilling year in the critical areas of life. My relationships with my two men are flourishing and happy. Health and overall wellness are good for the nearest and dearest, and there's no lack of love or blessings in our lives. I have felt the benefit of prayer and spiritual support in exponential ways this year, and that's probably made the biggest difference in my life.

Taking points off a "perfect 10," I have felt personally less accomplished this year, mostly because of a lack of focus in myself...

3. What are your biggest accomplishments this year?
Yeah, not feeling any real gold stars this year. As I mentioned above, I really need to get some focus. (Take a few of the options off the table. Make lists. Get things done and move on.) But in looking back, I would say that keeping my equilibrium at times of stress has been a bit of an accomplishment. I'm proud that I was able to find ways to look past anger and frustration and really get to the heart of what matters and keep on keeping on.

4. What are the biggest lessons you learned this year?
My biggest lesson, which I will probably learn and relearn again and again in my life is to trust God with all of life. Not just the big stuff, not just the little stuff. All of it. Admit I'm hopeless at "controlling" any of it, and just do my level human best and let the rest fall at His feet. I can't tell you the comfort that has brought me at times. At other times (3 a.m., generally), I am most horrible at remembering that, and I stir and twitch and can really get worked up into a lather.

"There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year’s course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word ‘happy’ would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness."   -Carl Jung

My other top lesson (another one that needs to get stuck on repeat), is to pause. That was the word/theme that struck me throughout the year as MY 2010 word. Pause. Take a beat. Think before I speak. Pause. Reflect, don't react. Pause.

5. What are your biggest goals that you want to achieve next year?
Focus. I think that's my 2011 word. Focus. Narrow it down. Find my center. Focus.

"I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed,but I am bound to live up to what light I have."   -Abraham Lincoln

6. What new habits do you want to cultivate?
A little discipline will go a long ways toward achieving some focus. I need to set a schedule to my day, whether I'm working or not working or volunteering or what have you. Set the schedule, live with the routines, let the structure guide me a bit more. I love routines, and getting things done, and I know that a couple of months of concerted effort will really have me feeling a bit more in line.

I also need to say no a little more consistently to the many requests on my time and energies. Not just to say "no," but to create the kind of home life that the three of us want to live together. To be less fragmented and scattered. Focus. See, it's the word. I can feel it.

"As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives."   -Henry David Thoreau

7. What are your immediate next steps to achieve them?
I know me and I know what works. It's largely a matter of returning to some of the basics that have done me well in the past. Lists will play a big role in that. Daily, weekly and monthly lists. Can't wait to dive in.

"Human Felicity is produced not so much by great Pieces of good Fortune that seldom happen, as by little Advantages that occur every Day."   -Benjamin Franklin
 

I will keep you posted on the focus. Definitely!

New Year's 2010: Keepin' it simple

Update: A very helpful little bird informed me that my list of goals jumped from 2 to 4 with nary a 3. Sigh. See, I told you it was going to be "six changes, Sher's way." If I come up with another one, I'll add it. But for now, it's a nice, odd number: 5.

found a concept I kinda like... six changes for the new year. The proponent, an author and blogger--Leo Babauta of Zen Habits--advocates taking on only six changes and acquiring them one at a time over the course of the year, with two months to make each change stick. Sounded somewhat reasonable to me--I like fewer things to focus on (see last year's list of just food/blog-related goals, it was too long). Makes for fewer distractions toward the goal, theoretically. My "issue" will be that I am probably going to want to bite them all off at once and that's not part of his approach. So we'll see how we go. Think of this as "6 changes, Sher's way."

1. Body. Just move it, every day. Mix it up. Make it different. Get outside, even in bad weather. Fresh air. In regards to food: Eat more fresh, less processed. Grow more of our own food and do a better job of preserving the harvest. Share with others if our crop overfloweth. 
2. Brain. Write daily. Blogging. Essays. Poetry. Journaling. Comments on other blogs. Be more selective in my information intake. Record the books I've read. Read what I've already bought instead of being such a new book hound. Take more photos, learn more about photography, especially food photography.
3. Soul. Be still. Don't always have to be plugged in. Pray more. Look at nature and just be. Pause. Reflect. Be grateful for the ability to do so. Keep quiet, even if I think I have some be-all solution to the world's problems. Work on judging less.
4. Wife and mother. Stop rushing around like a crazy woman. Listen. Really listen. Find ways every day for both of my guys to know that they are the most important things in my life, period.
5. Household. Tidy. Clean. Uncluttered. Simplify the stuff. 

See, when I look at the list above, there's no reason I can't do a bit of each of those things, all at once. There's no way I'm waiting until November to start being a better wife and mother! Or until May to be still more... so I think I will attempt a structure of sorts that accomplishes all five in baby steps each month.

Other items I have found helpful to consider as I head into 2010:
*Michael Pollan's new book, Food Rules. I am going to post some excerpts here next week. I think he has such a valuable voice relative to the food industry in the Western world.
*My cousin, Brent, has a great post regarding online/social media resolutions for the new year. I read it with interest and took many of the points to heart.
*Two books on writing that I am looking forward to reading in the new year: Creative Journal Writing and One Year to a Writing Life. I've browsed through both of them and am excited to dig in.
*A couple of books that have been contained a-ha moments for me in the past that I plan on rereading: The Four Agreements and Bird by Bird. Let's see if they are as transformative as I remember...
*I am half-way through 10 Conversations You Need To Have With Your Children by Rabbi Schmuley Boteach. I plan on rereading it with Seth. The whole question of "who do you want to be?" is invaluable at any age, I think.

OK, so now as I reread the post, I sound like some list-making self-improvement wonk. Sigh. No, no, no. Let's not forget the fun. I think 2010 HAS GOT to include more laughter. Lots and lot of laughter, even in times of stress and annoyance--maybe especially in times of stress and annoyment! If you have any ideas on that--what makes you laugh, what relieves your stress--I'd love to hear them. Meanwhile, I'll just keep watching my Jim Gaffigan clips on YouTube and having a chuckle.

Wish me luck. It's almost noon on Jan. 1 and I'm still in my jammies! But the Resolution Soup is on the stove (think healthy vegetable soup, just made on Jan. 1 with whatever veggies I had on hand, so of course it's Resolution Soup!), and the sun is shining. 2010 is off to a great start.