A-Z blogging challenge: V is for Vows

It's coming up on eight years since husband and I sat down to write our vows--by turns fun, and by turns "what were we thinking?" There was a lot of laughter and more than a few Google searches for appropriate words/phrases/poems. I remember sitting in his living room, me with my laptop, typing away, reading aloud, hitting the delete button a few dozen times, starting over.

When the day came to recite our joint creation, I was very glad we took the time to craft something together that we both would say. Now, I wish I could remember every word. I have no idea where the piece of paper is that I had been memorizing from...

On our first anniversary I penned the piece of our vows that I found the sweetest, to give to husband. I vaguely remember it is based off some old piece of poetry, but when I tried to find it recently, no luck. If you know who might have written something about keys and hearts, let me know!

There was a bit before, and a bit after, but this nugget in the middle was my favorite, and I'll never forget it:

I belong to you
You belong to me
Of that we are certain
You are locked in my heart
The small key has been thrown away
You must stay there forever

Seth was involved in the wedding planning with us, and around when we were writing vows. He found the whole "locked in my heart" and "throw away the key" thing quite amusing, even coming up with a funny little pantomime about it--only slightly mocking coming from a 9-yr-old... anyway, I had to make sure NOT to make eye contact with him during our vows, since I knew his little grin would put me into a fit of crying or giggles.

Have you ever taken a vow? What kind? If you got married, did you write your own wedding vows? How did that go?

What's this A-Z business about? Check out my kick-off post. And stay tuned for the random joy and nonsense I concoct during the month of April!

A-Z blogging challenge: M is for Marriage

M is one of the letters with all kinds of possibilities... I considered Mistakes (cooking and otherwise), I also toyed with Marshmallows and/or Moderation (two words that don't often go in the same sentence around here!).

But then this weekend brought about puttering in the yard and house, tidying up and organizing life. I traditionally do said puttering with my iPod in my pocket, listening to music or comedy or a book. There's an essay on my iPod by Ann Patchett that is only available by audio, and which I happen to adore. I had not listened to it in about a year, I'd say, and was reminded again as I listened and worked of all that I admire in Ann Patchett's writing, and all that I  enjoy about Marriage.

The essay is called This is the Story of a Happy Marriage, an essay about Patchett's family and personal history with marriage (and divorce), and is a short listen, at an hour and half.

I really like Patchett's storytelling (though I have to confess I've stalled out about two-thirds of the way through Bel Canto, not sure exactly why). In this essay, however, she weaves the past into her present, and tells of her own shortcomings and failures in her first marriage and subsequent affair, and her adamant refusal to consider marriage again, convinced there could be nothing worse than a failed second marriage. She does of course eventually get married again, and this essay is her telling to a young friend who asks, "Tell me the story of your happy marriage..."

There is so much of Patchett's story I don't relate to, but yet, so much that I do, that it seems every married (and certainly any divorced) person surely would. Though, in reading through some of the reviews on Goodreads, apparently not...

While I didn't immediately assume post-divorce that I would remarry, when I did begin a new relationship that had some substance (husband), I knew that I wouldn't be content to just date/be companions forever. I'm the marrying kind. While not the marrying kind, Ann reflected back after finally marrying her husband, and had the inevitable "Why didn't we do this sooner?" moment, forgetting all her angst toward the institution over the years.

Yet for all its failures (statistics don't lie, 2012 saw a 46% divorce rate in the U.S.), marriage has so much to recommend it. For me, that list includes, but is not limited to:
* Someone to bust a gut laughing with.
* A debate partner for important topics. We may have different important topics, but getting husband's input on my ideas only improves them. (And I like to believe the same about his, of course!)
* A shoulder to cry on. Literally at times.
* The mirror to myself--when I see my bitchiness/pettiness reflected back at me in his face, it can be rather enlightening.
* A prayer partner who knows my heart.
* Someone to taste test my cooking triumphs, as well as my not-so-hots.
* A champion for my causes, and someone who always has my back. Always.
* A willing recipient and giver of foot rubs.
* Someone to plot "somedays" with.
* Never having to do some of those awful around-the-house tasks that I hate, because he doesn't mind. And doing the same for him.
* Someone to be quiet with. How many people can you really enjoy companionable silence with? It's dreamy.
* A back up in discussion (argument?) with Seth. That additional voice in the parenting mix is super helpful, and husband gets a better response than I sometimes! (And, as I haven't said it here in a while--he's the BEST step-dad my kid could have.)
* My road-trippin' companion... (he would call himself my chauffeur.)
* Indulger of my quirks and idiosyncrasies.
* Never having to date again.
And more, so much more...

Are all these things available to those without the piece of paper? Yes. But there's just something about that particular piece of paper. (For me. Don't go all rushing out and getting married on my account. I'm not into your business!)

What is your favorite thing about marriage? (If it's the fact that you're not in one, that's OK too.)

What's this A-Z business about? Check out my kick-off post. And stay tuned for the random joy and nonsense I concoct during the month of April!