Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Midweek reminder: Bear yourself up on small wings

Morning Song

Here, I place
a blue glazed cup
where the wood
is slightly whitened.
Here, I lay down
two bright spoons,
our breakfast saucers, napkins
white and smooth as milk.

I am stirring at the sink,
I am stirring
the amount of dew
you can gather in two hands,
folding it into the fragile
quiet of the house.
Before the eggs,
before the coffee
heaving like a warm cat,
I step out to the feeder –
one foot, then the other,
alive on wet blades.
Air lifts my gown – I might fly –

This thistle seed I pour
is for the tiny birds.
This ritual,
for all things frail
and imperiled.
Wings surround me, frothing
the air. I am struck
by what becomes holy.

A woman
who lost her teenage child
to an illness without mercy,
said that at the end, her daughter
sat up in her hospital bed
and asked:
What should I do?
What should I do?

Into a white enamel bath
I lower four brown eggs.
You fill the door frame,
warm and rumpled, kiss
the crown of my head.
I know how the topmost leaves
of dusty trees
feel at the advent
of the monsoon rains.

I carry the woman with the lost child
in my pocket, where she murmurs
her love song without end:
Just this, each day:
Bear yourself up on small wings
to receive what is given.
Feed one another
with such tenderness,
it could almost be an answer.
-Marcia F. Brown

Friday, September 24, 2010



I’m writing this while sitting at the ferry terminal in Seattle, waiting to go across the ocean to Bainbridge Island. I love the ferries, even though on this particular evening we seem to have missed a ferry by about 10-15 minutes and thus will be sitting and watching other people leave and waiting for our ferry IN AN HOUR. Obviously I have some work to do to become a ferry person… a relaxed and mellow ferry-riding person…

I’m grateful that even though we’re sitting and waiting for the ferry, we’re sitting and waiting for the ferry. That means we’re a) not at home, and b) on vacation. And also, I’m grateful that the three of us are together. How joyful is that? Pretty dang joyful, I tell you. Singing songs from The Sound of Music joyful. Yes, you heard right.

I’m grateful for sunshine, even though it’s shining through a dirty windshield.

I’m grateful for people who are willing to say “Yes, we can get this done.” Even if it’s a steep request. And then, they figure out how to get it done. That’s rare, and I am so grateful when I do encounter that attitude.

My friend Jen got word today that she has more four more chemo treatments to go. What? Her last one was supposed to be in October. What does this mean? I don’t know, but I’m annoyed right now that someone somewhere (OK, an oncologist, but still) thinks she needs them and that she’s been blindsided by this. If I have to look for the silver lining, which you know, I do, I'm grateful that chemo exists and that she’s getting that tumor obliterated. But for a little while today, I was steamed.

I’m grateful for refrigerators. And ovens, even stovetops... especially dishwashers! I am so glad I don’t live in a time of ice houses (or simply no refrigeration) and wood stoves or (help me) open fires. I like the comforts of my kitchen very much.

I’m grateful to live in a time when my diet can be varied and adventurous, and while I do try and eat as local as possible, if I want an avocado or figs or grapefruits (things that simply don’t grow in my region, ever), I can find them easily.

I’m grateful for empathy. Sometimes I really hate the sensation of being able to feel someone else’s pain, but then I think that I’m glad I have that, because NOT having it would be a lot worse.

I’m grateful to live in the country, where if I choose (and I DO) to sing while mowing my lawn, it goes mostly unheard.

I’m grateful that the garden is still producing, even though the nights are so cool…

I’m grateful for fall weather and hopeful that it will go on like this for a few more weeks.

I’m grateful that my knees are feeling stronger, and that husband has an old weight set that is helping in that process. It reminds me that I should be using that contraption more often!

I’m grateful for my wordy girls and our casual but determined commitment to writing more consistently.

I saw this quote this week and it kind of summed up the past couple of weeks around here:
“Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us all be thankful.” - Siddhārtha Gautama

Yep, that kind of says it. Carry on. Love each other. Or as Garrison Keillor likes to say, “Do good work, stay in touch.”

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Considering other options besides Thursday 13...

Not sure what's up with Thursday 13, but the site's been static for the past couple of weeks. I get all twitchy and worry that something's amiss, but I am going to trust that all is well and it will be back when it's back. Life can get a little wild some days, I know... It's hard enough keeping one blog going, let alone managing a couple of them and having 50, 60, 80 other bloggers waiting with eagerness on Wednesday night for the Mr. Linky to be up!

Anyway, for this week, I thought I'd do the daybook approach... handily, I think there are 13 little starting points to share with you what's up in my world.

1. Outside my window... the lawn is freshly mowed and green green green. The rain of the past couple of weeks has really helped in that regard!

2. I am thinking... that I really need to get moving. Lots going on today, lots of need to change gears quickly and keep moving. So I will definitely need more than one cup of coffee, absolutely.

3. I am thankful for... so many things. But daily, I am reminded that technology is so helpful in staying connected. Here's a text my son sent last night. A text with a link, but still... Love that kid.



4. From the kitchen... I smell basil. Just picked the very last of the garden bounty and pulled the leaves off, last night.

5. I am wearing... my fuzzy robe and slippers. It's early, give me a break. I'll get my act together, soon enough.

6. I am creating... not a lot right now. Havoc? Mayhem? Maybe.

7. I am going... to have a busy, crazy day. Back to back meetings and appointments, and then a cross-country meet for Seth in the afternoon. Local, whew. No crazy driving two hours to watch 20 minutes of running. Silly, that.

8. I am reading... Isaiah and Esther; talk about a double dose of Old Testament. Not usually my thing, but we'll see... And the same Girl book I was reading last time I wrote in the day book... The Girl who Played with Fire. Need to bust out some book time, which has just not happened the past couple of weeks...

9. I am hoping... my husband's cough gets better soon. Not so much for me, as for him. Hate to see him not feeling 100%.

10. I am hearing... just the sound of my own little fingers on the keyboard. Peaceful.

11. Around the house... I really want my orchids to bloom again. I live in fear of killing them, and I think they sense that, so they are somehow shy. Or dying. One of the two..

12. One of my favorite things... is sleeping. I just love a good night's sleep.

13. A few plans for the rest of the week... This week feels pretty much locked up. Solid. We hit the road for Seattle on Friday noon, and away we goooooo! (Knock on wood. We've been really dicey with trip plans around here lately, so I'll believe it when my feet are on the dash and XM Radio is playing the family comedy channel. Kidding, Kim. We're coming, really we are!)

And I'm outta here. Running for the day!

If you'd like to do the daybook concept as well, go here! And of course, Thursday 13 is still here, but it's kinda quiet, so far today...

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Midweek reminder: Only kindness ties your shoes

Kindness

Before you know what kindness really is
you must lose things,
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth.
What you held in your hand,
what you counted and carefully saved,
all this must go so you know
how desolate the landscape can be
between the regions of kindness.
How you ride and ride
thinking the bus will never stop,
the passengers eating maize and chicken
will stare out the window forever.

Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness,
you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho
lies dead by the side of the road.
You must see how this could be you,
how he too was someone
who journeyed through the night with plans
and the simple breath that kept him alive.

Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.

Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoes
and sends you out into the day to mail letters and
purchase bread,
only kindness that raises its head
from the crowd of the world to say
it is I you have been looking for,
and then goes with you every where
like a shadow or a friend.
-Naomi Shihab Nye

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Candied nuts: You'll never want a salad without them again


Nuts, glorious nuts. In almost any form, I like the nuts: hazelnuts, walnuts, almonds, pecans, pine nuts... they add fabulous flavor and crunch to so very many different dishes.

It had been some time since I'd last made candied nuts... there was a time when I whipped these babies up in giant catering-style batches--eight, 10, 12 (OK, truthfully it was more like 20) cups of nuts at a time, that I would use for events--lunches, dinners, weddings, etc.

But a couple of weeks ago we were having dinner with friends and our hostess wanted to have candied nuts on the salad--she was working with just sugar as the sweetener and it wasn't melting adequately in the oven, at least not in the way that it does on the stovetop... which made me remember this recipe, where the corn syrup and sugar melt together in a happy marriage of sweet and sweet. That night, we added the syrup, popped the nuts back in the oven, and 15 minutes later had wonderful candied nuts for our salad!

This week a little shipment of figs found its way to our fair town, and the first thing I that crossed my mind was a salad of greens, figs, chevre, and of course, candied hazelnuts. I fired up the oven and in short order, the glorious smell of toasted nuts filled the house!

Candied nuts
Nonstick vegetable oil spray
3 tablespoons light corn syrup
1 1/2 tablespoons sugar
3/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon (generous) freshly ground black pepper
1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper (optional)
1 1/2 cups pecan pieces (or hazelnut, or walnut, or...)

Preheat oven to 325°F. Spray baking sheet with nonstick spray. Combine corn syrup and next four ingredients in large bowl. Stir to blend. Add nuts; stir gently to coat. Transfer to baking sheet.

Place large piece of foil on work surface. Bake nuts 5 minutes. Using fork, stir nuts to coat with melted spice mixture. Continue baking until nuts are golden and coating bubbles, about 10 minutes. Transfer to foil. Working quickly, separate nuts with fork. Cool. (Can be made 3 days ahead. Store airtight at room temperature.)

And enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!

Friday, September 17, 2010


Friday night comes around, even on grumpy weeks, or hard weeks, or boring weeks (not that this was any one of those weeks... well, maybe a little bit grumpy, a tiny bit hard, but in no way was it boring). But, it doesn't seem to take too long to get under the surface of that other stuff and find the grateful.

*I'm grateful for breath. For breathing in and breathing out, and maybe even having the good sense to make them deep breaths on occasion. For the ability to still push my body to do things it doesn't want to do, and for the wisdom (that comes with age, it seems) to know when to back off, too.

*I'm grateful for the ability to articulate my thoughts and feelings, and be understood by others (mostly). I am sad for those who are frustrated in communication--I think I understand how tough that could be.

*I'm blessed by so much love. And I'm grateful for that!

*I'm grateful for all my senses. Fall is such a great season for reawakening the senses; everything feels really clear and crisp, even as it's dying. Go figure. But after the muted sensations of summer--all that heat, for me at least--I love the cool air, the colors turning, the energy.

*I'm grateful for every moment with each of my loved ones. And I don't take it for granted. I try to leave my men every day with kind words and kisses, not knowing what the day will bring.

*I'm grateful to live in a community filled with people who care.

*I'm grateful for all kinds of communications, to keep in touch. Phone, email, texting, skype, instant messaging, Facebook, Twitter. It's amazing.

*I'm grateful for peace in the morning. A sunrise can cure so many worries that plague in the dark.

*I'm grateful to have friends who listen when I need to vent/rant. And I'm thrilled to be a friend who is available for reciprocal venting/ranting as well.

*I'm grateful for olive oil. Really *good* olive oil. I roasted my artichokes in them tonight, and oh that flavor adds so much.

*I'm grateful for humor. For laughter and giggles and chortles and those little sighs that follow a good laugh session. Even dark humor is good to have, when no other kind will do!

*Speaking of laughter, I'm grateful for Jim Gaffigan. Seth and I listened to him on our way back from the cross-country meet this week. Chortle, definitely. I'm a big fan of the bear segment around 2:20.



*I'm so grateful for the color orange. So cheerful, warm, energetic.  (And, I know, surprising. Trying to break up all the green love!)

*I'm grateful for figs (again and always). Had a serendipitous burst of fig activity this week and practically overdosed. Holla!

*So grateful for the weekend. For a little quiet time with husband, for extra sleep, for maybe even a nap (or two). For peace.

*I'm grateful for joy. And love. And celebrations. If you feel like you've been missing out on any of those things, watch this video for a hefty dose of all three.



What a great way to start the weekend! L'chaim!

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Thursday 13: Thirteen soups I'm looking forward to making this fall

Tis soup season, and I'm happy for it. Even though we're still having warm and wonderful days, it's quite obvious that fall is all around us, and the craving for soups begins.

I have never been completely confident in my soup-making abilities. I think my throw-it-all-in-a-pot approach can work great sometimes, and then not so much at others. Lack 'o consistency, that's how I phrase it. So I have decided that THIS winter, I'll pay more attention to recipes and seasonings and try to really master the soup. In pondering the soups I'm most looking forward to making, I concocted a list of 13 (shocking, I know!)--some from this very blog, some from around the interwebs. Enjoy!

1. Cauliflower soup. There's a local restaurant that serves an amazing cauliflower soup--very rich (truffles, I think) and creamy (cream, of course). The recipe I linked to seems like a good start... I will have a flavorful time experimenting with this one, I think.

2. Megan's gingered pumpkin pear soup.


3. Lentil soup. I devoured a bowl of lentil soup already this fall at yet another local restaurant and it was sublime. The best I've ever had of the lentil variety. I have very little faith I'll actually be able to duplicate it, mostly because I was enraptured with eating it and not with figuring out what was in it. I guess maybe I'll have to go back for another bowl. Soon.

4. Corn chowder. Loving the idea of the chipotle in this recipe... I think that flavor would prove quite popular around here.

5. Tortilla soup. This is one I make all the time, but have yet to post here. Time to remedy that situation!

6. Roasted tomato soup. Found this yummy sounding recipe, and the best thing is the accompaniment to the soup--click on over and check it out. (Oh, the mystery! You know you want to.)

7. Borscht. I can't believe I haven't posted a recipe for borscht here before... I recently saw it written up in a great little book one of my aunts created of my Grandma's recipes, so there's really no excuse for not doing that, very soon.

8. Mushroom soup. I am torn between a creamy puree (below) or this one that looks more like a stroganoff... might have to make both!


9. Homemade noodle soup. This will make my son very happy. He loves this one in his thermos on a cold day.


10. French onion soup. I am ready for this smell to permeate the house! And the cheese, glorious cheese!

11. Roasted ratatouille soup. This just sounds like the best of summer in a bowl...


12. Thai pumpkin soup. In this recipe, pumpkin = butternut squash. I can do for that.

13. West African peanut soup.


Hope my list has you craving soup too! Now I just need to decide which one is first... what do you think? Let me know and I'll take it under advisement.

For more Thursday 13s, go here.

Thursday 13: Thirteen soups I'm looking forward to making this fall

Tis soup season, and I'm happy for it. Even though we're still having warm and wonderful days, it's quite obvious that fall is all around us, and the craving for soups begins.

I have never been completely confident in my soup-making abilities. I think my throw-it-all-in-a-pot approach can work great sometimes, and then not so much at others. Lack 'o consistency, I think that's what it's called. So I have decided that THIS winter, I'll pay more attention to recipes and seasonings and try to really master the soup.

In pondering soups I'm looking forward to making, I collected a list of 13--some from this very blog, some from around the interwebs. Enjoy!

1. Cauliflower soup. There's a local restaurant that serves an amazing cauliflower soup--very rich (truffle oil, I think) and creamy (cream, of course). The recipe I linked to seems like a good start... I will have a flavorful time experimenting with this one, I think.

2. Megan's gingered pumpkin pear soup.


3. Lentil soup. I devoured a bowl of lentil soup already this fall at yet another local restaurant and it was sublime. The best I've ever had of the lentil variety. I have very little faith I'll actually be able to duplicate it, mostly because I was enraptured with eating it and not with figuring out what was in it. I guess maybe I'll have to go back for another bowl. Soon.


4. Corn chowder. Loving the idea of the chipotle in this recipe... I think that flavor would prove quite popular around here.

5. Tortilla soup. This is one I make all the time, but have yet to post here. Time to remedy that situation!

6. Roasted tomato soup. Found this yummy sounding recipe, and the best thing is the accompaniment to the soup--click on over and check it out. (Oh, the mystery! You know you want to.)

7. Borscht. I can't believe I haven't posted a recipe for borscht (beet soup, in case it's not a part of your soup vocabulary) here before... I recently saw it written up in a great little book one of my aunts created of my Grandma's recipes, so there's really no excuse for not doing that, very soon.

8. Mushroom soup. I am torn between a creamy puree (below) or this one that looks more like a stroganoff... might have to make both!


9. Homemade noodle soup. This will make my son very happy. He loves this one in his thermos on a cold day.


10. French onion soup. I am ready for this smell to permeate the house! And the cheese, glorious cheese!

11. Roasted ratatouille soup. This just sounds like the best of summer in a bowl...


12. Thai pumpkin soup. In this recipe, pumpkin = butternut squash. I can go for that. And the coconut milk!

13. West African peanut soup.


Hope my list has you craving soup too! Now I just need to decide which one is first... what do you think? Let me know and I'll take it under advisement.

For more Thursday 13s, go here.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Daybook #2: It's only Tuesday?

 Outside my window... sunshine comes and goes. Since I'm inside with a sick boy today, I kind of wish it was less sunny, so I would be happy to stay inside.

I am thinking... that someone really should have come up with a cure for colds by now. Really. How hard can it be? Someday we'll be telling our grandchildren about colds as a distant memory, I'm sure of it. Well, I'm wishing for that, anyway.

I am thankful for... so many things, but that husband comes home tonight is top of the list. Work travel is fine, occasionally, but I am always glad when it's over!

I am wearing... my robe, still. It's kind of cushy and I'm a little lazy feeling, what with the lack of sleep from the sick boy waking me up at 3 a.m.

In the learning room... going to spend some time with my scanner and Photoshop today, hopefully. (Go away, sunshine, go away!)

I am remembering... being sick as a kid, and having very little on TV to entertain me... but I do remember Phil Donahue. Remember him?

I am going... to do as little as possible today, it appears, but I am still going to go to a noon meeting I committed to. That's the nice thing about a 13-year-old at home sick... he will probably welcome a break from Mom's forced fluids for a little while!

I am currently reading... the second Girl book by Stieg Larsson... "The Girl who Played With Fire. I just finished the first one a couple of nights ago, and in the interest of momentum, I'm leaping right into the second... But Jen just recommended Sara Gruen's Water for Elephants on her daybook, so maybe that will be my next audio download. You know, for all that yard work I'm just dying to get out there and accomplish.

I am hoping... for silly things that are completely unreasonable, and anyone less optimistic would have the good sense to not hope for.

On my mind... I watched Oprah's first show of her "farewell" season last night while ironing (dvr, baby), and was struck by the self-congratulatory nonsense that show has become. I know, I probably won't get called up as one of her "ultimate viewers." Oh well. But the thing I really wondered is: Does she use that voice at home, the excited one where she's announcing things, like, "We're all going to Austraaaaaliaaa!" Does she come into the TV room and shout to Stedman, "Here's some popcoooorrrn!" I mean, she does that holler so naturally, for EVERYTHING, I can't imagine her actually dialing it down at home. OK, enough of being hard on her. She is every woman, after all...

Noticing that... my motivation to get anything done today has dissipated significantly since emailing all Seth's teachers, collecting homework assignments and dialing up Brian Regan on Netflix. Showering, what's that? Meetings, oh darn.

Pondering these words...

“But most days, if you’re aware enough to give yourself a choice, you can choose to look differently at this fat, dead-eyed, over-made-up lady who just screamed at her kid in the checkout line. Maybe she’s not usually like this.

Maybe she’s been up three straight nights holding the hand of a husband who is dying of bone cancer. Or maybe this very lady is the low-wage clerk at the motor vehicle department, who just yesterday helped your spouse resolve a horrific, infuriating, red-tape problem through some small act of bureaucratic kindness.

Of course, none of this is likely, but it’s also not impossible.

It just depends what you want to consider. If you’re automatically sure that you know what reality is, and you are operating on your default setting, then you, like me, probably won’t consider possibilities that aren’t annoying and miserable. But if you really learn how to pay attention, then you will know there are other options.

It will actually be within your power to experience a crowded, hot, slow, consumer-hell type situation as not only meaningful, but sacred, on fire with the same force that made the stars: love, fellowship, the mystical oneness of all things deep down.” - David Foster Wallace

From the kitchen... I'm hungry, but not sure what I want to eat for my late breakfast, early lunch... maybe something with tomatoes, as I picked a bunch of them yesterday. Love the yellow ones!

Around the house... there are quite a few things I could be doing right now. Could. Should. Later.

One of my favorite things... is laughing. Who doesn't love a good belly laugh?

From my camera... a little granola I made recently. I love peanuts in my granola, in case you were wondering. And I'm already missing the plentiful berries that made my morning breakfast so wonderful this summer.


If you'd like to play along with the daybook concept, go here.

Hope your day is fabulous!

Monday, September 13, 2010

End-of-summer fling: Nectarine salad with basil and fresh mozzarella


So, remember what I said last week about autumn being here? Well, I lied. Or, maybe more to the point, autumn lied to me. It's summer again, at least for the moment, and gone are the soup cravings, the curry cravings, the anything-warm cravings... it's been WARM. And since there are still vestiges of warm-weather food lying about, I couldn't help but whip up a lovely salad this weekend to go along with the sunshine!


Nectarine salad with basil and fresh mozzarella
(So the title pretty much lays out exactly what's in the salad!)
2 nectarines, sliced thinly
1 cup of basil, cut chiffonade
1/2 cup of fresh mozzarella diced (I had those little bocconcini, and halved them)
2 tsp basil oil (straight olive oil will do, but I couldn't resist)
Salt and pepper to taste

Toss all the ingredients together in a bowl and serve room temperature.


Basil oil
So in true "me" fashion, I didn't look up an infused oil recipe, just stuck some leaves in a pot with some olive oil and warmed them through for a couple of hours. Worked well. But if you want to do it the way every recipe site recommends, you'd blanch the leaves first... I think that's why my color isn't as *green* as other basil oils I've seen... So I'll do that next time. Sigh.

Regardless, the salad was amazing. Really a lovely last taste to leave summer with...

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Days of Awe


Rosh Hoshanah took place this past week--sunset Sept. 8 through sunset last night. Not being Jewish, or having extensive knowledge of Jewish traditions, and not living in an area with many observant Jewish people, it passed by my notice as every other year.

But in catching up on reading a few of my regular blog feeds over the past couple of days, I found a number of posts about the tradition of Rosh Hoshanah, and what it represents in terms of renewal and fresh starts. And, you know me and fresh starts... love 'em. New calendar years, new school years, new months, even a new morning, a blank journal... all good.

The days between Rosh Hoshanah and Yom Kippur (Day of Atonement, 10 days later, sunset Sept. 17 through sunset Sept. 18) are called the Days of Awe (Yamim Noraim). Isn't that a great name: Days of Awe? During these 10 days, it's a time of reflection on the past year, to recognize the wrongs of the year and reconcile with each other and with God. (Who, I've noticed, Jewish people refer to as "G-d" when writing... I had to look it up and discovered that apparently spelling out the name might be taking it in vain.)

A couple of my favorite posts were at Eat The Damn Cake and in the SmartlyLA blog. At the end of Kate's post at Eat The Damn Cake was a list of questions that she uses to reflect on the past year and move forward. I enjoyed reading her questions and thought I'd answer them in my own way here, as my own kind of Rosh Hoshanah practice. It's a new meme! And maybe, just maybe, I'll remember this next year and come back and see if I really do learn anything or am just stuck on repeat, year after year. (Some days it does feel like that.)

What are some of the most important lessons you’ve learned this year?
I seem to learn the same lessons over and over: Slow down. This applies to all areas of my life. Driving. Talking. Thinking. Moving. Mowing. Making decisions. Reacting. Speaking before thinking.

What is a new skill you’ve acquired?
I have learned bits in photography. A little with sewing. I definitely want to keep going further with the photography, and add in more artistic creativity to my life overall.

Did you do something big that you never thought you’d be able to? What was it?
Can't think of anything BIG.

What do you find beautiful about yourself that you didn’t before this year?
I can't think of anything. I may need to ponder this one a bit.

Who did you grow to love even more?
My husband.

Who did you grow to love or appreciate for the first time?
A new friend. A lovely surprise.

Who impacted you in a profoundly positive way?
A group of women I have lunch with about once a month. It's pretty great.

Who surprised you?
My son, with his maturity and insight.

Who infuriated you? Have you been able to come to terms with it?
Can't say, we live in a small town. And, no, haven't come to terms with it. I'll keep working on it.

Who hurt you? Have you been able to forgive them?
No significant hurts to me personally this past year. But, when you hurt my guys, you hurt me... I actively work on forgiveness; it's a process.

What do you recognize in yourself that you want to work to improve?
Pettiness. Seeing issues in other people and being blind to my own "stuff."

What food did you discover? Or what food did you grow to love?
Is there any food I don't already love? That is the better question...

What negative thing have you let go of?
The need to be right; I don't need to be right, I need to be learning. But I'll be reminding myself of that one over and over in the coming years, I'm sure.

What is something you’re truly sorry for?
Turning a blind eye to situations and circumstances that have needed my attention. Letting things be, thinking they'd fix or improve when in fact they needed addressing.

Who did you really hurt? Did you tell them you’re sorry?
Significant other of the past. Yes.

What goal did you accomplish? (It’s OK if it’s something “small.”)
I have started running again, and practicing my calligraphy on a daily basis. And writing more, but I need to get more consistent with that discipline.

What are you really looking forward to?
Celebrating my fifth anniversary with my husband in Hawaii.

What is one of your favorite things about your life, looking back?
That I made a choice to turn back toward a more spiritual basis for living and learning. The blessings have been innumerable.

Would love to know how you'd answer these, either in the comments or on your own blog. Shalom.

Photo source: (A Rosh Hoshanah tradition includes eating apples dipped in honey in the hopes that eating them will bring about a sweet new year.)

Friday, September 10, 2010


Such a short week in many ways, quite long in others. Isn't that the way? Working on the breathing, working on the pausing, reflecting, not reacting, just breathing.

And so so thankful for:

My Creator. I don't say it often here, I don't say it loudly, but it's a large part of my every day. I'm a big believer in having your life be your witness (words are so easy), and I have people--dear people--who don't believe as I do. I don't want to offend or turn anyone off. But the truth is, I don't know what I'd do without Him. Any time you've EVER said to me in the past half-dozen years or so that I'm sounding sane, doing well, looking happy and healthy, etc., it's because of Him. Truly. I take zero credit for any graciousness, peace, calm and sanity. Zero.

My little family. The joy and love we share under this roof--whether it's just the two of us, or just the three--never fails to amaze me. I am blessed beyond measure in the love department.

Friendship. I am so appreciative of my friends, and am reminded of this quite frequently by the listening and sharing and support and mutual affection, whether we saw each other this week or emailed or texted or whatever. (The dig at Facebook above is just reflective of a moment or two I had this week, but then it passed. Not a reflection of how I feel about my friends--or my friends' farms--at all!)

The cooler weather. I don't know why I'm so happy about the cool--this could be a VERY long winter--but I feel like I'm getting some sort of pass on doing yard work. This is truly only a reality I've constructed for myself, obviously, since it is actually the best time to be working outside and getting things wrapped up for winter; but for some reason, I chose (this week) to see this time as "inside time." Me time. Pretty silly, I know, but there's always next week...

For sunshine, when it peeks out. I love the autumn quality to the light, even in the middle of the day, you know you're not in July anymore. This afternoon was especially enjoyable, and I hear it might continue into the weekend. Yippee!


Thankful for feeling good about the running. I had a small hiccup today with some arch and knee pain, nothing severe, but it did slow me down for a moment. These funky non-shoes (above)? I'm loving these too, and just need to take it one day at a time toward utilizing them more. But the weather--both the cool and the sunshine--helps compel me out of doors for a run around my loop... just want to enjoy every moment before the snow, sleet, hail, winter...

For this crossover time in seasonal eating. I can pick between my basil-tomato obsession or my butternut squash adoration. Mix in the new crunchy apples and flavorful pears and I'm one happy eater. (I know, what else is new?)


To live in a small town. I am very grateful for this most (key word being most) days, but especially this week, with the controversy of a local business (toy store) where a mural was painted on the facade of the building (without prior approval; rather, in the face of being told no). Lots of debate about art, public spaces, historical buildings, etc. Not a really weighty topic around here most days, but one that will probably take a bit to get worked out. And yes, I'm still grateful to live here! (I just HAD to post this for my non-WW readers who know how hard this town has worked on the quaint and historical aspect of the local aesthetic.)

For movement and music. I love this video and the creativity that went into putting this together; such a keeper. (And who knew I could actually miss Patrick Swayze?)



May your weekend be wonderful in every way you need it to be! I would love to hear what you're up to...

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Thursday 13: Work it, own it

How long has it been since I've done a music post for Thursday 13? Too long. And in keeping with my (so far) injury-free running groove, this list includes 13 of my favorite songs on my iPod right now, specifically in my running playlist:

1. All Will Be Well, The Gabe Dixon Band. This is a wonderful warm-up song with all the right sentiments to get me in the right frame of mind.

2. Pokerface, Lady Gaga. Not a big Gaga fan, but if I don't have to look at her, I'm even happier.

3. Halo/Walking on Sunshine, Glee cast. This one gets me going!

4. Single Ladies (Put a Ring On It), Beyonce. Of course.



5. I Gotta Feeling, Black Eyed Peas. Such a feel-good song. I can practically see the Oprah flash mob every time I hear this song!

6. A Million Ways, OK Go. And oldie but a goodie. Again with the great video... look what a phenomenon it became that everyone copied their dance style:



7. Hey, Soul Sister, Train.

8. Jai Ho, Slumdog Millionaire Soundtrack. This is such a pick-me-up for mid-way through the run. I almost want to break into bollywood dancing, but somehow I contain myself.

9. I Will Survive, Cake. I love this cover of the old classic.



10. So What, Pink. Great anthem, very kick butt for picking up the pace!



11. Shine, Take That. This band is way old, but I love this song.

12. Say Hey (I Love You), Michael Franti. Boppy and fun, reminds me of Seth.

13. Now That We Found Love, Heavy D & The Boyz. This is from the wedding dance sequence at the end of Hitch, and always brings a happy scene to mind!



As you can see, some of these are a wee bit old and so I am in need of some new ideas... please share with me any songs you find great for getting the energy up! Many thanks.

For more Thursday 13s, go here.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Autumn's arrival: warm butternut arugula salad

Well, fall seems to have arrived. Early fall, but still, it's here. The heat of summer appears well past, and the shorter days are making an impact on the garden, too. Tomatoes are still ripening, albeit slowly, and the basil is in full harvest mode (I seem to forget what a time-consuming task that is. Every. Year.), but the winter squashes are just coming on, and the brussels sprouts too.

So, sad as I may be to say goodbye to the blueberries and nectarines, the ever-present watermelon and caprese salads, the summer squash casseroles and zucchini sticks, I wouldn't be me if I didn't dive headlong into the next buffet of flavors. And for my money, butternut squash makes the transition to early darkness bearable! My love of butternut squash in a salad has been noted in the past, so no surprise that I was ready to roast today.

The factor that really tipped this salad over to yumville was the dressing, which was an on-the-fly, what's-in-the-cupboard moment. I will make that again soon--it was just the right sweet and tang to go with the squash and cheese especially. The warm butternut wilting the arugula didn't hurt either... and the fact that I didn't have a proper breakfast so was dive-in hungry when I sat down to it...


Butternut arugula salad
Roasted butternut squash, warm from the oven
Washed and dried arugula
Toasted pumpkin seeds
Crumbled chevre (a late thought, you'll see the picture above seems a bit naked without it...)
Salt and pepper to taste

Sweet mustardy vinaigrette
2 Tbsp. olive oil
1 Tbsp. apple cider vinegar
2 tsp. dijon mustard
1 Tbsp. maple syrup (I couldn't find honey in the cupboard but this did the trick really well)
Whisk all ingredients together until well emulsified.

Put two cups of arugula and a generous cup of butternut squash in a bowl. Pour dressing over, and toss to coat. Put salad on a plate and top with pumpkin seeds and crumbled goat cheese


Very enjoyable and a hearty kick-off to my favorite season of all!

Friday, September 3, 2010

Friday night grateful list


Dark already, what's up with that? Apparently it's fall; even if the days warm up, the early darkness on both ends of the light never fails to remind me: It is no longer summer.

I am so grateful for seasons. I love the smell of autumn. Right now, with the sliding door open and the cool breeze coming into the house, I can smell fall. Some combination of cut hay and recent rain and sun-worn foliage, with maybe a tinge of smoke from a faraway burn pile... it's lovely.

I'm grateful husband was able to take the day off. We were supposed to take a more extensive road trip for the long weekend, but that was not to be... I am happy I got today, and will get tomorrow before work beckons in fits and starts before Tuesday. A long weekend at home is better than no long weekend at all, right?!

I'm grateful we got some extra days with Seth as the schedule gets sorted out for the fall... I will take extra days ANY day.

I'm grateful for all the inspiration my friends provide, from the one who is currently soldiering through a divorce with her head held high, to the one who just finished midwifery school while still working at OB nursing, to the one who just took in an exchange student who needed a new family. And then there's the one battling lymphoma with pluck and mostly cheer, lo these many months later; and the one still in the hospital following a cardiac arrest episode more than week ago; and the one who blew out her knee and is having to do months and months of PT post-surgery, and is homeschooling her kids again this fall too. I'm pretty sure I've forgotten someone, somewhere, but I haven't meant to, I swear... as I look at this list of courageous woman, I'm proud to know you all.


I'm grateful for color and cheer. Some days you just need a little, right? Thanks so much for sending this particular cake inspiration my way this week, M. Can't wait to bust out the food coloring!

I'm grateful for words that ring a bell. I found this poem/quote sometime in August and tucked it away, and even did a little calligraphy meditation on it one morning (see above, it's a little rough, still needs color, etc.)... the first two lines especially are ones that I just love... I have an essay inside me about those two lines... some day it will come out!

The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you.
Don’t go back to sleep.
You must ask for what you really want.
Don’t go back to sleep.
People are going back and forth across the doorsill
where the two worlds touch.
The door is round and open.
Don’t go back to sleep.
-Rumi

I'm grateful that Earl turned from a hurricane to a tropical storm... and that the earthquake in New Zealand doesn't seem to have any fatalities, so far. I'll take any good news, even marginally good news, these days...

I'm grateful for miracles. Watch this video and tell me it's not a fabulous miracle:



And I'm always grateful for music. I felt the happy effects of music this week while running--I'd actually forgotten how some music can keep you moving past the point when maybe you should have stopped! It was very nice to get into a rhythm... And somewhere during the week I found this little gem too and wanted to share it with you all:




Wishing you exactly the kind of weekend you want. I hope you get it!

Nostalgic cooking: Zucchini + bechamel = casserole deliciousness

Ever have one a food-related a-ha moment? Where something you hadn't thought of in DECADES comes across your path and it's like no time has passed at all... you MUST try it, make it, eat it, and the sooner the better... I hope I'm not the only one who has these moments, but if I am, I guess I can deal with it...

Recently I spied a piece in the NYTimes on olive oil bechamel and it seemed like a great experiment to try. I've made bechamel sauce on the lower-fat side before by substituting low-fat milk for whole, but using olive oil in place of the butter hadn't ever crossed my mind.

And, the first recipe that popped into my brain to try with the bechamel was an old (I first made when I was 12 or 13, I think), cheap take on a zucchini moussaka. Well, actually there isn't much "moussaka" about it, other than the zucchini and the bechamel. I don't remember quite where I got the idea, but I remember breading and frying up slices of a big zucchini, layering them in a deep-ish casserole dish, and pouring bechamel over the top and baking the whole thing until it was bubbly. I don't know quite what possessed me to try it back in the day, but for some reason it stands out in my mind as something I really enjoyed.

As luck would have it, our zucchini plants this summer went the way of the garden voles right around the first of August. It was a bit sad, but I'd had plenty of zucchini sticks and zucchini "pasta" in the earlier summer weeks and wasn't convinced I needed any more... until this recipe came along! So off to the store I went. The up side to buying store zucchini is that they are all small-ish and uniform. The down side to buying store zucchini is that they are all small-ish and uniform. No easy-peasy huge slices of zucchini to fry up here... this took some effort. (And was well worth it!)

Zucchini bechamel casserole
6 small to medium zucchini, sliced into 1/4-inch rounds
3-4 eggs, beaten well
2 Tbsp. milk
Bread crumbs

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

Beat the eggs well and add the milk. Pour the milk/egg mixture over the zucchini slices in a medium bowl, tossing well. Take zucchini slices and dip into the bread crumb mixture so that both sides are coated, and fry in a non-stick fry pan until golden brown on both sides. Set aside until cool.

Arrange zucchini slices in a baking dish or casserole--I used an 8-inch pyrex dish. After making the olive oil bechamel (see below), pour it over the zucchini slices and jiggle the pan a bit to get the sauce to settle into the zucchini. Bake for about a half hour, until the sauce is bubbly and the sauce darkens a bit.

Zucchini fried up and ready for sauce.
Olive oil bechamel
Makes 1 1/2 cups 
2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
2 tablespoons finely chopped shallot or onion (optional, I didn't use)
2 tablespoons flour
2 cups low-fat (1 percent) milk
Salt to taste
Freshly ground white or black pepper

Heat the oil over medium heat in a heavy medium saucepan. Add the shallot or onion, and cook, stirring, until softened, about three minutes. Stir in flour, and cook, stirring, for about three minutes until smooth and bubbling but not browned. The paste should have the texture of wet sand. (Here's where I deviated--mine resembled really, really wet sand, so I added another tablespoon or so of flour, and it perked right up.)

Whisk in the milk all at once, and bring to a simmer, whisking all the while, until the mixture begins to thicken. Turn the heat to very low, and simmer, stirring often with a whisk and scraping the bottom and edges of the pan with a rubber spatula, for 10 minutes (more like 20, for me), until the sauce has thickened and lost its raw flour taste. Season with salt and pepper. Strain while hot into a heatproof bowl or a Pyrex measuring cup.

This sauce never got as thick as I was expecting it to. Next time I may experiment with cooling it all the way down, as it mentions in the NYTimes article that it cools and reheats well--that might also thicken it too. But it worked just wonderfully to pour over the zucchini slices and baked up nicely in the oven. Also, the flavor seemed to improve over time-- I reheated it as leftovers for lunch the next couple of days and it got better and better.

Post-baking, still bubbling.

A true zucchini moussaka would involve tomatoes, various spices and probably beef. I just might be persuaded to give that a whirl one of these days. But between now and then, I have more happy memories of true summer comfort food... me and my bechamel!

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Thursday 13: Running again, and it feels good


I recently started running again to help Seth condition for cross-country, and have continued on my own now that he's off running with his team after school...

I used to run home from work, more than 15 years ago. It was about a 4-mile route, and I really enjoyed the fitness benefits at that time. More accurately, I was pleased that I could pretty much eat whatever I wanted if I was running regularly (might as well be honest about it!). That lasted for a few years, during which I ran a couple of races (Bloomsday) and enjoyed that aspect of running as well. My knees started bothering me and so I dropped running in favor of step classes at the local Y.

My next go at pounding the pavement was about 9 years ago (somehow I forgot about the knee pain), and it was a different story than in my 20s. I was a bit heavier (that's what happens when you keep eating and don't exercise, I hear...), maybe about 15 pounds, and it made getting started all the harder. And, though I didn't know it at the time, I was having trouble with my thyroid--not slow or fast, just really unstable is the best way to put it--and I couldn't drop a pound to save my soul. I was out there hitting the pavement and seeing zero results. I was more than a little disappointed (no matter what people say, fitness is fine, but losing poundage/feeling toned is what really motivates me), and as you might guess, I abandoned that effort inside a year.

So here we are again, sans thyroid at this point, feeling pretty healthy overall. I've exercised off and on the past few years, but nothing truly dedicated. And at this point, I'm not going out on any limb to say that I have a big goal or lifetime running commitment--the knees might just give out on me tomorrow--but I am going to enjoy it while I can, and do my best to stay healthy and injury free...

So for my Thursday 13, from a great list from Women's Health, here are 13 tips for running that I found very helpful. The article has 101, so it took a little work to pare it down!

1. "The biggest mistake that new runners make is that they tend to think in mile increments--1 mile, 2 miles, 3 miles. Beginning runners need to think in minutes, not miles." --Budd Coates, four-time U.S. Olympic Marathon Trials qualifier/coach

2. "Don't clench your fists in a white-knuckle grip. Instead, run with a cupped hand, thumbs resting on the fingers, as if you were protecting an egg in each palm." --Runner's World editors

3. "Hydrate. Hydrate. Hydrate! In cold weather and warm. We use water to sweat, lubricate joints, tendons, and ligaments, and to carry blood efficiently to major organs. I work all day at hydrating." -Dr. Alex Ratelle, former masters running great (I really need to work on this one!)

4. Good for me to remember: "So-called 'junk miles'--those slow miles done on easy days or during warmups--do count. They burn calories as effectively as fast miles; it just takes longer. Regardless of pace, each mile you run burns about 100 calories." -Hal Higdon, runner/writer/coach

5. "During long, slow distance training, you should think of yourself as a thoroughbred disguised as a plow horse. No need to give yourself away by running fast." -Marty Liquori, running commentator and former world-class miler

6. "A 40-minute run punctuated with a half-dozen 30-second pace pickups (not all-out sprints) can really jazz up an otherwise boring training run." -Amby Burfoot, Runner's World editor and 1968 Boston Marathon champ

7. "After a run, don't rush back into life. Take a few minutes to walk, stretch, relax, meditate." -Runner's World editor

8. Good to know, since I am not a big stretcher: "Overly aggressive stretching can actually increase your injury risk." -Tim Noakes, M.D., author of Lore of Running

9. This will be good to remember when I'm on the treadmill this winter: "The advantage of running /hills' on a treadmill is you can go up without pounding down the other side." -Ken Sparks, Ph.D.

10. This inspires me: "Marathon training doesn't have to be a grind. By running for about 30 minutes two times a week, and by gradually increasing the length of a third weekly run--the long run--anyone can finish a marathon." -Jeff Galloway

11. "During the hard training phase, never be afraid to take a day off. If your legs are feeling unduly stiff and sore, rest. If you're at all sluggish, rest. Whenever you're in doubt, rest." -Bruce Fordyce, nine-time Comrades Marathon champion from South Africa

12. "Once you find a warmup routine that works, repeat it as habitually as possible." -Ted Corbitt

13. And I just like this quote, whether I ever run a marathon or not: "Divide the marathon into thirds. Run the first part with your head, the middle part with your personality, and the last part with your heart." -Mike Fanelli, runner and coach

Wish me luck! So far, I'm loving it...

For more Thursday 13s, go here.
 
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